Graham the Squirrel
Graham the Squirrel General information: Graham the squirrel is a squirrel, but he is no ordinary squirrel; last financial year he was second best at sales in his office beaten only by Sandra from floor 3. For this his manager gave him an extra Christmas bonus and 3 days extra paid holiday. Graham hates Sandra from floor 3 as she always seems to get better sales figures and she once borrowed Graham's second favourite stapler and took it to her desk. Upon realising his main favourite stapler was out of staples, Graham reached for his second favourite, when he realised, Sandra had not returned it. upon confronting Sandra she claimed she had given it back the previous day but he knew this was wrong and now has her marked for death. Graham lives in a 2 bedroom apartment in a mediocre area of angle island, he is close to a school which can create traffic problems during rush our but he is within walking distance of the town centre and can take a half an hour walk to the nearest supermarket for emergency groceries. Usually he just goes shopping on a Saturday morning at around 7:30 am as it is usually quieter in the supermarkets at this time and it gives him enough time to shower and have oatmeal for breakfast which provides him with enough fibre for a regular bowel habit. Graham owns a small affordable family capable 4 door car, its brown and has a mixture of tartan and leather seats. It boasts an impressive dab and fm radio but it is usually kept off as a large amount of noise would occur and distract the driver (this is also why passengers in his car are forbidden from talking (unless to warn of impending hazards)) Graham does not follow sports, this limits his conversational capacity with coworkers at the water cooler. He did once try to talk about tennis with a colleague, the colleague laughed at him due to his lack of knowledge. the colleague ended up being stapled to his desk in 5 places. Backstory: Graham grew up in a loving and supportive home, his parents were always very kind towards him, his sporty brother, his artsy sister Margret and his token LGBT sister Linda (who was bi-curios during university and is know married to Fernando the chipmunk with 2 kids Nigel and Francine). Graham always dreamt of being an accountant for a small firm selling building supplies, unfortunately, the university he wished to go to did not accept him due to his exam results. He resat his maths A level and got a conditional offer. Graham graduated university surrounded by his friend and family, his bi-curios sister Linda brought her then girlfriend Emily the possum who complained due to the lack of gluten free bread sticks at the snack table, also the meat options slightly triggered Emily the possum's vegan-curios beliefs. Linda and Emily broke up soon after, Linda started dating Emily's step-brother Fernando whilst Emily became a full time vegan activist and part time alcoholic. Graham got a job as a temp at the Marshton and Marshley spring company, he was soon promoted to a full time sales rep making deals with minor distributors and private collectors. He was commended for his customer feedback reports and sales record. Marshton and Marshley soon went out of business due to an investigation into their taxes, it turns out funds were being diverted to a shell company set up in the greenhill zone which has considerably lower tax premiums. The CEO's of the company bailed to their private boat leaving their employees without a pension scheme or employment. Graham got a new job at the newly formed Richley and CO. springs and rings manufacturer and distribution offices.This company was set up in the wake of the closure of Marshton and Marshley due to a rather substantial government subsidy being given out to any company which could pick up the slack in spring distribution caused by the closure of Marshton and Marshley. This new company took a new approach to spring sales also distributing shipments of rings to companies to try and increase sales. Graham has worked this job for 7 years, racking up a hefty long term service pension booster and he has a crewed more than 2 weeks in extra holiday time. Graham likes to work alone but due to the communal sales floor he finds this difficult, this is why he has to get to work 2 hours before everyone else. This is the time where he sets up the days sales, has his oatmeal, creates work flow spread sheets and generally helps people set up for the upcoming day by making them coffee and depositing a small amount of animal faeces in each cup of the coworkers he doesn't like, especially Sandra. Trivia: * his top 3 colours are beige, khaki and mauve * he owns two sweaters for every day of the week * he keeps a loaded shotgun under his pillow * he likes to pay his bills 2 days in advance to make sure they get done * he likes to feed bread to ducks on a Sunday afternoon * he owns a small TV * he recently discovered he has the power to summon a demon from the sky who can scorch everything and everyone in a 5 mile radius * he has 2 different thermos flasks, one for hot beverages one for tepid liquid * his favourite pattern is tartan but it must contain 3 colours or less * his favourite food is oatmeal and white bread * his arm was bitten off by a large crocodile and he has a claw hand now Category:Neutral Category:Males